Why Should Someone Be Attracted To You? Is there a "right" way to attract someone?
In the midst of a conversation with a friend recently, I got offended. The conversation was along the lines of why it is so hard to find someone to date. Her answer was, "Why don't you try wearing makeup?"
And that completely threw me off. 1. Looks are not going to get you far, and 2. I look great with or without makeup.
I don't usually wear it because I never have. I never felt the need.
For someone to suggest in order to attract someone, you need to basically "look better" shows exactly what kind of society we live in these days. These days people are only attracted to what they see. Exhibit A: Tinder and other dating apps. How do people decide whether to "swipe left" or "swipe right"? None other than looks for the most part.
There is a flaw in the way people date nowadays. Even if it isn't online. Even if it isn't about looks. People don't fight for each other anymore.
I see relationships fall apart left and right because no one is willing to fight for it. Back, say, 30 years ago, relationships were a lot longer lasting because people were willing to compromise rather than just break up over every little thing.
The Question: What SHOULD attract someone to you?
Your ambition towards your goals. The way you take care of your family members and/or pets with love. Your personality: the kind of person you are. What you fight for. How your beliefs inspire you.
That is not the end of it. I'm not saying everyone should be this "perfect" ideal person, but that is a taste of what I think people should be looking for when they are deciding whether to date you. All this leads to is the basic thing that we don't look for when we are on those apps: friendship. Perhaps, we need to start normalizing the "friendzone" for the time being.
The greatest relationships I've seen have started out as friendships and they never looked back. They enjoyed their friendship which eventually turned into love. I'm not saying that all your friends will want to be with you, but my point is, you need a base. Because when you get to know someone for who they are and you get a taste of their personality, you can then decide if you want to be with them.
Not all successful relationships start out as friendships. Not all relationships start out as strangers. There is no "normal," but the way we look at dating in this era, I believe it needs more of a change. What could attract you to be friends with someone? You don't look for your friends' looks as a way to start being friends with them, you look at their personality and how they make you feel.
It is important to note that if you base your dating life on whoever "looks good" to you, your dating life will most likely be a disaster. And circling back to wearing makeup to attract someone, that idea is superficial. Yes, try to look neat and put together always, I agree, but don't add that extra step JUST to attract someone. If you are going to wear makeup, wear it for YOU.